I thought it was going to be a little easier going back to school and moving on, but not so much! For 2 months I didn't really work and when I was my heart was somewhere else. I spent a ton of time with my family and my nephew Brandon. I guess I just expected I could just go back to how things where before I had Cassidy. It wasn't at all. All I thought about on my way to work was "I wonder what mom is doing with Brandon today" and "I wonder if Erika updated the blog". "Should I text Erika to see how she's doing?" Then reality sets in... I'm driving focus on getting to work and when I got there I am consistently reminding myself that I need to focus on work I can think about all this Wednesday on my day off. When I'm at school in between my classes I check to blog or call my mom to see how Brandon is and talk to him for just a second. Life is not the same to say the least. On Monday I was having a hard day, not like work was hard but I was just struggling and a little freaked out about school Tuesday that I acted on a feeling and texted Erika. I didn't hear back that night so I was a little sad cause all I wanted was to see Cassidy's face and smile. So I went to bed and the next morning I woke to Cassidy's face on my phone. Erika texted me 2 pictures that I treasure dearly. I love seeing how happy she is and how happy she makes here mom and dad. I know that Heavenly Father has a special plan for those who are involved with adoption.
(Brandon and I at Susie's Wedding)
Well as you noticed I did get a job!!! I work with a great friend Amber at Smart Mouth Family Dentistry as a Dental Assistant. The Doctor is Dr.Hill and he is awesome. I really like it, not the drive but the people are fantastic. I really feel like I belong there.
I am also back at school getting my prerequisites out of the way so I can hopefully get into the Surgical Technician program at Collin College. That is the main goal. I'm taking Beginning Algebra, College success, PHED, and Psychology. So far so good, just give me a couple of weeks and I'll really be freaking out. My psych professor said essay and I just about freaked out then he explained it and I was okay. I have to talk my way out of getting stressed out.
"All our Dreams come true if we have the Courage to Pursue them"- Walt Disney
(Imagine it in Disney font)
that is so great that you keep in great contact with the adoption parents!! Hang in there girl!!
ReplyDeleteSarah you voiced that feeling so well; it's been hard for me to put into words and you did it so well. It's not the same...we can do the same basic things, have the same basic goals as before, but no matter what it will never be the same. Sometimes part of me wishes it could be, but then I see a picture of Clara and realize how blessed I am to be a part of this precious little one's life. We just have to jump into life (like you're doing!) and make it BETTER. I love you girl! I'm so proud to call you my friend! I hope it doesn't bug you that I call you my birth mom bud..! If it does, tell me not to:)
ReplyDelete