What was I thinking???

     I thought it was going to be a little easier going back to school and moving on, but not so much! For 2 months I didn't really work and when I was my heart was somewhere else. I spent a ton of time with my family and my nephew Brandon. I guess I just expected I could just go back to how things where before I had Cassidy. It wasn't at all. All I thought about on my way to work was "I wonder what mom is doing with Brandon today" and "I wonder if Erika updated the blog". "Should I text Erika to see how she's doing?" Then reality sets in... I'm driving focus on getting to work and when I got there I am consistently reminding myself that I need to focus on work I can think about all this Wednesday on my day off. When I'm at school in between my classes I check to blog or call my mom to see how Brandon is and talk to him for just a second. Life is not the same to say the least. On Monday I was having a hard day, not like work was hard but I was just struggling and a little freaked out about school Tuesday that I acted on a feeling and texted Erika. I didn't hear back that night so I was a little sad cause all I wanted was to see Cassidy's face and smile. So I went to bed and the next morning I woke to Cassidy's face on my phone. Erika texted me 2 pictures that I treasure dearly. I love seeing how happy she is and how happy she makes here mom and dad. I know that Heavenly Father has a special plan for those who are involved with adoption. 

     (Brandon and I at Susie's Wedding)

     Well as you noticed I did get a job!!! I work with a great friend Amber at Smart Mouth Family Dentistry as a Dental Assistant. The Doctor is Dr.Hill and he is awesome. I really like it, not the drive but the people are fantastic. I really feel like I belong there. 

      I am also back at school getting my prerequisites out of the way so I can hopefully get into the Surgical Technician program at Collin College. That is the main goal. I'm taking Beginning Algebra, College success, PHED, and Psychology. So far so good, just give me a couple of weeks and I'll really be freaking out. My psych professor said essay and I just about freaked out then he explained it and I was okay. I have to talk my way out of getting stressed out.  

"All our Dreams come true if we have the Courage to Pursue them"- Walt Disney

(Imagine it in Disney font)

A whole NEW YEAR!!!!

What a year last year was.....So much can happen so to recap last year.
Worked.... and worked....and worked

Got pregnant in February (totally unexpected)
Met with LDS Family services to place child for adoption (April)
Went to Tyler for Susie's baby shower(May)

Transferred offices to be Lead Assistant
Found out I was having a baby girl

Heather, R.J. and the Family moved to Denver (June)
Went to Tyler one last time before Susie had Baby Marcus(July)

Met with adoptive couple (Aaron and Erika)
Stepped down as Lead Assistant (October)
Had sweet Cassidy and placed her with her parents (November)

Mom Dad and I went to Disney World(November)

Susie and Marcus got married (December)

Quit my Job (December)
Heather came home for Christmas....With her boyfriend Ryan (December)

Like I said "What a Year"!!!!

As of yesterday Cassidy turned 2 months. I can't believe it has gone by so fast. This was my first of lifetime Christmases without Cassidy. How you might ask did I make it through. Well I had read a someones blog and they had bought a ornament for the child they placed and sent it to them and bought the same one for her. So I bought Cassidy a little cowgirl ornament and one for me. And I also got her a little outfit.

Now my goals for this year are pretty simple. Go to school and do well in my classes. Continue on with my church stuff and lastly I would like to see Cassidy this year. Maybe in May when she can be blessed. But with finances I may not be able to make it out there until the end of this year.

"Promise me you'll always remember...You're Braver than you believe, And Stronger than you seem, and Smarter than you think."
Christopher Robin