Make a stand

So on my last post I said that I was going to write my local and state leaders. Well I did!!! I will write and let my voice be known. Now I ask you to write and let your voice be known to you local and state congressmen. I plan on writing until someone hears my voice. That is it for this week its been a slow week.

Have a good week.

23yrs later

Today I turned 23! I seriously can't believe it. I spent the first 9 months attached to my twin sister inside my mom. Then next 18yrs we had many adventures, time truly flies by. I love my sister and couldn't imagine growing up with out her. She is my best friend and I love her with all my heart. But this is not what I would like to post about tonight.

Susie left, Sarah right

But this is not what I would like to post about tonight.Tonight I would like to talk about my frustration with with world today. As a lot of you may know I have recently decided to go back to school. Yes this is a fantastic choice, I need something more in my life. So how to pay for school??? This semester I paid with my credit card... bad idea I know but that't what I did. But this next semester I will soon run out of money. So I asked the school what to do as if I didn't know...They told me I needed to fill out FAFSA online. I already did this last semester. So then I told her my parents(dad) makes to much money to receive any government funding. Banks don't even give out student loans anymore. It's all done through the government. So I have to re file with the FAFSA next semester. Then I got online to check out what scholarships I could get being a birth mother and all. Well NONE!!! There is only one that I found that only gives $500 once a year. Or you had to place with a specific company. Super frustrating. But had you kept your child and been a single mother and denied another women of being a mother you could get thousands of money for school/groceries/living expenses. Society tells us it is okay to be single women with children, that it is okay for children to be raised in a one parent home. They say this is normal. I have met many of women who have children just for the government benefits. But what about those who chose another hard road. Those who gave their children to a deserving couple. They receive a peace of heart knowing their child is being raised in a 2 parent home full of love and compassion. But no support from the government. No one there understands what it is like. If they knew there would be some form of acknowledgement to those women who did the hardest thing they needed to do for their children. Give them a loving home. So my next step in this process it to let my local and state Representative know how this makes me feel. I was not a drug addict or criminal. I simply made a bad choice and made the best decision for me. And I know many other women/girls who feel the same way. So today I am frustrated, today I am sad, but today I will begin making a difference for those who made the right decision and blessed another family and her own. Today is my DAY! 

I'm Here!!!

What does this mean "I'm here"? Well earlier I was talking to a professor, she's my College success. Earlier in the semester she asked us to write down some goals we had. So one of my goals was to go and see my birth daughter this year. I didn't know when but all I knew was that that is what I want to do this year. So as I was talking to her she asked if this goal was going to be obtainable? I said yes but all the kinks weren't worked out just yet. Then she proceeded to ask "How do you do it?" 

My answer was this. "Have you ever gotten something that you like and would keep but there was someone else that wanted it so bad and would just about do anything for it. Would you give that to them? Well I was lucky to be blessed with the ability to have children and some women are not this lucky. So what could I do with this blessing but share it with those who can not have children."

Her reaction was one that I was used to. It was a question that I have heard so many times, "Isn't it hard to know that someone else is raising your child?" My answer was this, "Yes, yes it is hard to see her all dressed up with beautiful bows and dresses. To know that they get to feed her and take to exciting places, but I know that I wouldn't have been able to do those things with her being a single mother. And she needs both a mother and a father who will love her and take care of her as I would have. She deserves better than what I could provide her." 

My professor was so impressed at my decision and the way I looked at things and all I said was "I'm here!!! It took months to get here, but I'm here!!!"  

Now my quote for this week comes from Shakespeare 

"Whate'er thou art, act well thy part"