Catching up

Well its been awhile since I posted but I decided it was time to start documenting my story again! Soon much as happened Josh and I got MARRIED! Love being married to my best friend. We purchased our first home in McKinney! We love being so close to family and just last April we welcomed sweet Lizzie into our home. She is amazing! We both have gotten new jobs, then advancement in those jobs. We just loving life. No doubt things get crazy and busy but we truly enjoy our life and our little family. Here are just a few pictures from our journey.

We were told that the baby may not take due to a large cyst on one of my ovaries, but she stayed.

Sleep but oh so happy that she arrived in perfect health.

Lizzie was so little 

Our little ninja turtle!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! 

Puffs, puffs and more puffs

Our weekly naps, since I work we nap most weekends together! 

It's been awhile

Oh goodness it's been over a year since I last posted. I am so sorry but I have recently started a new chapter in my life and decided it was time to start posting. I guess I'll do my typical recap of the last year. So my last post was in August of 2012 at that point I was dating Josh. In November I met all of Josh's family at a simple family reunion in N. Houston. It was so much fun, we did little art projects and did archery with the girls. The Disney movie Brave was still very popular. After his reunion we went up to Tyler to see Susie and her family for Thanksgiving and a Super Early Christmas with the kids.

 

 

In December Josh decided it was time to pop the question. It was Christmas Eve and family was there from both sides :)

 

Right away we started to plan. We set the date for June 1, 2013! It was a little stressful but we made it. In Feburary my mom's foster father passed away so Mom, Dad and I made the worlds shortest trip to Orem Utah ever!!! But in the under 24hrs we were there I got a dress!!!! P.S. I really don't do cold weather....

 

 

 

Wedding plans continued as did my semester at school. In April Heather called to inform us that her and her boyfriend at the time decided that they were going to tie the knot on May 3, 2013

 

Again not a fan of the cold weather it snowed a rediclous ammount the day before Alice, Brandon and I flew up there. We suprised Heather, Del and Lyndsey. It was so nice to be there for her.

Well Josh and I's big day was coming up. I really didn't know how it was going to go, I was pretty stressed out. By friday the whole family was together including my Aunt Diane and cousin Clay and his family. We spent friday setting up the recption. Friday evening my whole family had the plessure of meeting Aaron, Erika, and Cassidy. Yes they came!!! It was so wonderful of them to come and spend our special day with us.

 

 

Saturday morning went so fast but it was wonderful. I will post just a few of my fav photos I promise to post more on my facebook soon.

 

After we walked out of the Temple Cassidy came to say "Hi" with Erika.

 

I Love my mom and dad!!!

 

All my siblings. It was great!!

 

All of our neices and nephews that were at the Temple.

 

Kameron thought I looked like a Princess and I think my face is priceless.

 

 

After our reception Josh and I spent a few days at a lake house. It was wonderful!

 

 

Well I will plan on updaing my blog more often, hopefully once a month. Now then my Blog name is Love Never Ending. It now takes on a new meaning as Josh and I create our family I will have so many more Loves in my Life.

 

So as you saw Cassidy came to our wedding and such. It was so wonderful for them to make the effort to come and see me. I look at pictures of Cassidy and rejoice at the joy she is in everyones life, my family and her's. So some questions people have asked me lately is now that your maddied do you wish you would have kept her??? My answer is No!!!! for a few resasons. 

1. She wasn't mine to give. Heavenly father blessed me with Cassidy in order to place her with Aaron and Erika. He had faith that I would do the right thing.
2. Josh and I probably would have never met had I kept her. I would have been home taking care of my child and not out tryong to meet people.

I am truly blessed to know that my Heavenly Father gave me Cassidy to place with two wonderful loving people who wanted so badly to be parents. I know what a Mother's love is and I can't wait to have children with my wonderful husband, but that will wait until we're done with school.

Thats all for tonight.

 

 





The last few months

To all my avid readers I'm sorry that I haven't posted in forever. The last couple of months have been absolutely crazy. So I'll do my little recap thing that I like to do. My last post was in April so I'll go back to then end of April. I went to Time out for Women with my mom. We had so much fun, then Saturday night I headed over to a YSA conference. I met some amazing people and got to hang out with all my old friends, which I hadn't done in almost a year. Then I met someone.... we talked for a little while and then someone else would join. Then just him and I would talk and soon we had covered the basics. What are the basics to us you might ask. Well after he had left to talk to someone and came back to talk to me, he had said "Sorry I knew her before I got married I just had to say Hi." Uhmm wow I thought this dude is divorced. So I said "okay way to drop the I was married bomb." We laughed and then I said "well that's nothing I have a daughter that I placed for adoption." Since that night we have been nearly inseparable. Its been almost 4 months and he has been there for everything

Rough Riders game even though Josh doesn't watch/ know anything about baseball

Next was Birth Mother's day. I had thought about how I got through Christmas and New Years but I just wasn't prepared for Mother's day. Lucky for me I have a wonderful support system and my family and Josh were there for me. And I received a wonderful card from Aaron, Erika and Cassidy. It made it so much easier. Then on Sunday my branch President of the singles ward asked me and several others to get up and speak about our mothers and what mother's day means to us. WOW talk about emotional. It was wonderful to look back and remember why I chose Erika as Cassidy's mother and Aaron as Cassidy's father. They are just perfect and every time I see them with her I never regret my decision. 

I started a new job in May. 

Taking summer classes in hopes of jumping my GPA up. 

In July Josh and I enjoyed the Dallas Museum of Art for one of my class assignments.

Later on in July I was diagnosed with a hernia and was told to have surgery as soon as possible. I on the 31st I had hernia repair surgery and am now recovering. It was a minimally invasive surgery but have several restrictions that are not allowing me to work. So lets just say the money will be tight the next couple of months. 

For those who like to hear about Cassidy she is a very hefty little girl. She is in 12-18 month clothes and a size 3 shoe. She is crawling and pulling herself up. She has her 2 bottom teeth and likes to use them.  

I promise to update more often!!!

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WOW what a difference

Tonight there is another story I want to share from another birth mother. Lets just say she is way stronger than me. I had met her right before she placed her. She had told me she was adopted herself and now that she was placing her adoptive parents didn't want her to place her little boy. I was so mad!! The way she talked about not only her birth parents but the people in her church made me mad. They never once asked her opinion. They would either say "why are you giving away your child", or "why don't you give your baby to me". I mean seriously if people had said these things to me I probably would have kept her. I would have been selfish. But I had one difference then she did. I had very wise Bishop Wassom ask me this question "Are you doing what is right for your family?" The family includes the Birth Mother, child, and if he is still in the picture Birth Father. I knew from the beginning that adoption was right for me, but for some it is not. This birth mother needed the support of all those around her but instead she had no one but the adoptive couple. I am happy to she placed the little boy with a wonderful couple who have been waiting a long long time for this child. On the other hand she has lost all faith in the LDS church . Because she was treated so poorly by her relief society sisters and those in leadership positions she has fallen away. So I ask you this question "are you doing what is right for your family?" are you judging others of their actions? I choose not to judge but to Love! We may not agree but we are not sent here to judge but to love and serve. 

I challenge you to LOVE!!! and not to JUDGE. 

Keep moving forward

So I was at work Friday and they were interviewing a new Dentist for a second location. Some how we got on the subject of children. So the interviewee asked if I had children.... How do I answer this? So i flat out said "NO". Dr. Hill just looked at me because he knows my story, said nothing at all just gave me a look as in okay I'll go with this. Later that day I was talking to another assistant and we were talking about our scrubs, she said she liked mine and I jokingly said "oh these are my maternity ones, all my other ones are dirty". She laughed and said "oh well, their cute." But what I didn't know was that the interviewee Dentist was standing just a few feet away. He said "I thought you didn't have any children". So in my attempt to avoid talking about a sometimes awkward subject I shared my story with him. All he said was "okay now I understand why you said no." There was no judgment or questions. This was the first time in a while that I didn't have follow-up questions about my situation. 

That was Friday. Saturday Heather, Mom and I walked a 5K. YAY US!!! We walked not ran. It is a jump start to our weight loss journey that begins tomorrow Monday 4-2-2012. I am so excited!! I feel like I will be shedding my wonderful baby weight and beginning a new me. I will continue sharing my story of weight loss with y'all.

Sweet Cassidy at 4.5 months old

Make a stand

So on my last post I said that I was going to write my local and state leaders. Well I did!!! I will write and let my voice be known. Now I ask you to write and let your voice be known to you local and state congressmen. I plan on writing until someone hears my voice. That is it for this week its been a slow week.

Have a good week.

23yrs later

Today I turned 23! I seriously can't believe it. I spent the first 9 months attached to my twin sister inside my mom. Then next 18yrs we had many adventures, time truly flies by. I love my sister and couldn't imagine growing up with out her. She is my best friend and I love her with all my heart. But this is not what I would like to post about tonight.

Susie left, Sarah right

But this is not what I would like to post about tonight.Tonight I would like to talk about my frustration with with world today. As a lot of you may know I have recently decided to go back to school. Yes this is a fantastic choice, I need something more in my life. So how to pay for school??? This semester I paid with my credit card... bad idea I know but that't what I did. But this next semester I will soon run out of money. So I asked the school what to do as if I didn't know...They told me I needed to fill out FAFSA online. I already did this last semester. So then I told her my parents(dad) makes to much money to receive any government funding. Banks don't even give out student loans anymore. It's all done through the government. So I have to re file with the FAFSA next semester. Then I got online to check out what scholarships I could get being a birth mother and all. Well NONE!!! There is only one that I found that only gives $500 once a year. Or you had to place with a specific company. Super frustrating. But had you kept your child and been a single mother and denied another women of being a mother you could get thousands of money for school/groceries/living expenses. Society tells us it is okay to be single women with children, that it is okay for children to be raised in a one parent home. They say this is normal. I have met many of women who have children just for the government benefits. But what about those who chose another hard road. Those who gave their children to a deserving couple. They receive a peace of heart knowing their child is being raised in a 2 parent home full of love and compassion. But no support from the government. No one there understands what it is like. If they knew there would be some form of acknowledgement to those women who did the hardest thing they needed to do for their children. Give them a loving home. So my next step in this process it to let my local and state Representative know how this makes me feel. I was not a drug addict or criminal. I simply made a bad choice and made the best decision for me. And I know many other women/girls who feel the same way. So today I am frustrated, today I am sad, but today I will begin making a difference for those who made the right decision and blessed another family and her own. Today is my DAY!